One of the most frustrating afflictions that can befall a man is premature ejaculation. It’s embarrassing, it’s unexpected, and it turns what is supposed to be one life’s greatest joys into one of life’s greatest disappointments. No one wants to have to say I’m sorry at any point before, during, or after sex.
But men should know that while yes, PE can be incredibly frustrating, it’s also incredibly common. “Premature ejaculation is a problem that affects almost every man at some point in his life,” says Thomas J. Walsh, M.D., a urologist at the University of Washington. While you’re more likely to experience PE in your twenties and thirties, as many as one out of three men of all ages say they’ve experienced it at some point in their lives.
Knowing you’re not alone can be comforting, but unfortunately it isn’t going to change the reality of how PE can affect your agenda in the bedroom. If you want to start lasting longer in bed, then you’re going to need to do something about it. This is far easier said than done.
What is the average time for ejaculation?
In a 2005 study, researchers had 500 heterosexual couples use stopwatches to measure the time between vaginal penetration and male ejaculation over four weeks of sex sessions. The overall median time was 5.4 minutes.
Lots of guys don’t last as long as that. The 2014 book The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-Ups reported that nearly half of guys finish within two minutes, according to the New Republic.
You may be diagnosed with PE if you routinely ejaculate within one minute of penetration, no matter how hard you try to delay it.
One of the reasons PE is so maddening is that it can feel like you have no control over it. The harder you try to prevent it, the worse it seems to get. Yes, you may be able to last a few seconds longer in bed by thinking about your fantasy baseball team, but who wants to be thinking about baseball statistics during sex? Are there any substantive solutions?
Thankfully, the answer is yes. Despite how hopeless your situation may feel, there are indeed plenty of smart, sensible, and healthy ways to curb, if not cure, your premature ejaculation and last even longer in bed.
1. Work it out
Kegels. Kegels. Kegels.
Or, in other words, work out your pubococcygeal (PC) muscles of the pelvic floor, and work them out good. To understand what these muscles feel like when they’re fired up, trying cutting off the flow of urine the next time you’re using the bathroom. After you cut it off, let it flow, then cut it off again, then let it flow again.
For help isolating those PC muscles, try standing in front of a mirror and using them to lift your testicles — without the help of your hands. Imagine “lifting your nuts to your guts” or “shortening your penis,” Dr. Sandra Hilton, PT, DPT, a doctor physical therapy at Entropy Physiotherapy and Wellness in Chicago, Illinois, previously told
Once you have a feel for how to expand and contract your PC muscles, tighten and hold for a count of 10, then release. Practice in sets of 10. The beauty of this exercise, which will result in heightened ejaculatory control and help you last longer in bed, is that you can do it practically anywhere.
There’s scientific proof that kegels can help men make sex last longer. As Men’s Health UK reported: “A 2005 study found that 75 percent of men improved erectile function after doing kegels. In another study, Italian researchers found that 61 percent of men were cured of premature ejaculation through rehabilitation of the pelvic floor muscles.”