Delaying your orgasm while masturbating can be one of the most effective ways to train yourself to last longer during sex. This is also known as edging, and according to Dr. Walsh it’s one of the most common techniques for avoiding premature ejaculation. Basically, you bring yourself right to the edge of orgasmbefore stopping all sexual or masturbatory activity until you have your excitement under control.
Practicing this technique can help you teach your brain and body to better control your orgasm response and make sex last longer, says sex therapist Emily Morse, Ph.D. Just be sure to use a lot of lotion or lube while you practice edging to avoid chafing, she adds.
Speaking of masturbation, rubbing one out an hour or two before sex may help you delay ejaculation, according to the Mayo Clinic.
5. The Squeeze
If you can feel your orgasm coming on, stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis. Apply firm pressure with your thumb and forefinger and focus the pressure on the urethra, or the tube running along the underside of the penis, advises Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a sex therapist and author of She Comes First.
The squeeze technique can help you last longer in bed by pushing blood out of the penis and momentarily decreasing sexual tension, which represses the ejaculatory response, Kerner says.
“This is another type of biofeedback, similar to edging.” says Dr. Walsh.
6. Ladies first
Many women require clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm in the first place, so while you’re trying to keep your own orgasm at bay, get to work and help her find her own bliss. Whether you use your mouth, your fingers, or a toy—hey, we recommend all three!—knowing she’s enjoyed an orgasm may relieve some of the pressure you’re feeling to last longer in bed, Kerner says.
7. Masturbate beforehand
Masturbating alone prior to a sexual encounter is a free and simple technique to help fight premature ejaculation. “A lot of my patients will masturbate prior to sex,” explains Dr. Evan Goldstein, D.O., a proctologist who specializes in men’s sexual health at Bespoke Surgical. “Sometimes ejaculating too quickly is due to the fact that you’re all riled up and haven’t ejaculated recently, which means your prostate is fully engorged.” When it’s been a while since you last ejaculated, the slightest touch, lick, or thrust can set you off (literally).
Goldstein continued, “If you masturbate close to when you know you’re going to have sex, you’re essentially having sex a second time, which means it will take a little longer to climax.” He did, however, caution to practice the appropriate timing in between sessions because the last thing you want is to then not be able to perform at all.
If you notice you’re still having issues with PE even when masturbating beforehand, then you can masturbate repeatedly beforehand to help combat the issue during sex.
8. Condom control
If you struggle with premature ejaculation, condoms can be your best friend when it comes to lasting longer during sex. (Also, you should be using them anyway, bro.) Most major condom manufacturers make extra-thick rubbers that act like a slip-on desensitizer for your member during sex, Morse says, and these can help you avoid premature ejaculation. Try Trojan’s Pleasures Extended, which comes with a numbing agent to help prolong pleasure for you the both of you.
TROJAN PLEASURES EXTENDED
In Europe, there are many legal drugs that purportedly help you last longer in bed, Dr. Walsh says. The problem: The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) hasn’t approved those drugs to treat PE in the U.S. Why?
“Even though trials show these drugs genuinely benefitted men with premature ejaculation, the FDA sets a very high bar for drugs used to treat non-life threatening conditions,” Dr. Walsh explains.
There’s also evidence to suggest that some antidepressants can help delay orgasm—Paxil, or paroxetine, has proven to be particularly effective—but they could lead to mood changes or other side effects and shouldn’t be used unless prescribed by a doctor, says Dr. Walsh. So at the end of the day, these should be considered a last resort.
Depending on how sexually active you are, you can either take the medication daily or as needed before sex, says Matthew Lemer, MD., a urologist at Beth Israel Medical Center. You’ll just want to find out from your doctor how long it’ll take for the medication to kick in, since it varies from drug to drug.
10. Anesthetic wipes
In 2017, a small study found that applying wipes covered in a small amount of benzocaine, a mild anesthetic, can help you last longer in bed. The problem? If your partner has a vagina, the wipes could have the unintended effect of numbing her down there, says NYC-based urologist Dr. David Samadi.
If you’re interested in trying out anesthetic wipes, Roman—the online service that sends generic erectile dysfunction medication straight to your door—also offers “Roman Swipes.” The Swipes have a 4% benzocaine solution, which reportedly reduces overstimulation without eliminating sensation altogether.
Additionally, Jamin Brahmbhatt, MD, urologist and sexual health expert at Orlando Health, suggests numbing medications—like Promescent—that come in creams and sprays. “Similar to a condom these things can cause you to have less sexual pleasure,” Brahmbhatt explains. “Plus, it can affect the partners satisfaction as well. Make sure your partner knows you are using it as a heads up and also to make sure they don’t have a history or allergic reaction or problem with its use.”
11. Tech support
A new FDA-cleared program called Prolong purportedly helps train you to delay ejaculation by jerking off with a special device. For $299, you get a vibrating masturbation gadget, a guidebook, and some lube.
“Over your six-week training program, the studs and vibrations combine to fine tune that over-sensitive sweet spot under the head of your penis just enough to hand you the reigns to your climax,” its website — a sexual health platform called Smiling Dick — states.
Don’t want to spend $299, but still want to treat your PE? There’s an app for that.
Check out the Premature Ejaculation App — or Pea, for short. Billed as a “virtual sex therapist,” the app guides you through a three-step masturbation training program to help treat your PE, and lets you track your improvement over time.
12. Ask an expert
If you feel like you’ve tried everything to have better, longer sex without success, it may be time to discuss your problem with a doctor, Dr. Walsh says. “A lot of the treatments we’ve already discussed—edging and biofeedback—are pretty challenging techniques that a specialist can help you use effectively.”
He recommends asking your doctor for a referral to a urologist, who can either treat you himself or refer you to the right person for your problem.
“He or she will help you approach this practically and pragmatically,” Dr. Walsh says, adding, “It’s not about getting in touch with your inner self. It’s about learning the physical or mental mechanisms that can help you avoid premature ejaculation.”
via Your Guide To Last Longer In Bed – 12 Ways To Last Longer During Sex